How’s this for a new bumper sticker?

"Feeling Powerless? You Must be from California!"

Like many of us, if I couldn’t laugh at our problems, I’d probably be crying.

Here’s the latest in what has become our ritual, weekly exploration into the electrical crisis on the left coast.

And the news is none too good. California residents endured several more Stage 3 energy alert days since last week. While the state acted to protect its existing low cost energy contracts and utilities sought the right to raise their prices, Governor Davis took a dramatic step. He requested a temporary waiver of Federal Clean Air Act enforcement, a move which may win him White House approval but certainly no friends in the tree hugging lobby.

Within the past week, we’ve seen articles predicting at least 200 hours of critical power shortages out west this summer producing at least 20 hours of rolling blackouts. We’ve endured finger pointing between proponents of oil and natural gas power generation. We’ve seen conspiracy theories, claiming manipulation of the electricity market by the few power producers selling juice to California.

And we’ve actually witnessed one novel idea that signals a new bottom in our shrinking electrical expectations.

Lighting our cities with cow manure.

No, really.

This little gem comes from Idaho, once famous only for potatoes, where a spokesman for the state energy division, John Crockett, proposes collecting cowpies, inserting those odorific, brown "floppy discs" into a mulching machine populated by thousands of tiny little p**p-eating bugs and capturing the resulting methane gas for recycling at specially constructed gas-fired power plants.

Theoretically, a whole new job classification would "entail," meadow muffin maintenance engineers. They would scour the hilly landscape in search of every potential "cow" lowatt. Eventually, someone would design recyclable cow diapers for easier "cow"-lection points.

I foresee just one little problem. If mad cow disease ever hits America like it did Europe, we might have to pull the plug on our power supply in a hurry.

Then, we’d be forced to reconsider cheap, affordable, reliable, safe, tested energy alternatives like nuclear power.

Nah…it’ll never happen.

It makes too much good sense.

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