I’m not terribly crazy about the French.

This is not a blanket indictment of every living Frenchman or woman on the Earth.

They’re just not one of my favorite people groups.

True, they gave us French fries, French toast and Lafayette. Thank you.

But they also gave us designer fashions priced to resemble Air Force toilet seats, modeled by anorexic, genderless waifs. They’ve blessed the world with a language that can easily become lodged in your sinus passages. And let’s not forget Charles de Gaulle, the man who singlehandedly slapped Uncle Sam silly as his way of thanking us for saving the French family jewels on Omaha beach.

We could go on raving about their haute cuisine that’s five percent sauce and 95 percent plate but you get the picture.

Now, I have a new reason not to like the French. Their President Jacques Chirac is playing point man for a new effort to usher in "global governance," the UN’s cute, contemporary catch-phrase for what used to be known as the New World Order or, more properly, one world government.

Chirac shocked a U.S. congressional delegation at the Hague last week when he encouraged us to work together in support of environmental reforms which could be "the first component of authentic global governance."

The environment has become a handy tool for those who would like to impose a strong central government on the world. After all, every human being wants clean air and water. Arguing against that is like blasting mom, apple pie or the …uh…UN flag.

Wait, it gets worse. Among the goals Chirac is trying to cram down our collective throats are new regulatory and tax instruments, a kerosene tax for international air transport, more funds for a Global Environment Facility, tackling transportation, construction and housing…and interestingly enough, giving a "pass" to developing countries so they can apparently keep polluting this endangered green ball to their hearts’ content.

Republican Senator Chuck Hagel of Nebraska said he was surprised about Chirac’s push for global governance. But Chirac was not alone in his call for centralization.

Dutch Prime Minister Wim Kok pointed to the issues of "sustainable development" and "globalization" claiming they deserve more attention. Kok pointed to globalization being a positive force for the people of the world and added it offers great opportunities. Then he lamented the costs of such a social evolution are not evenly distributed and the benefits are unevenly shared.

If that’s not socialism, I’ll eat a wooden shoe.

The latest word from the Hague is the U.S. delegation may reduce its opposition to the Kyoto environmental accords and push ahead toward a one-world government, especially since the incoming Republican administration might put the brakes on things, starting in January.

How the arrogant, self-absorbed French could spearhead the push for such a global monster with the help of the ‘ugly Americans’ is beyond me.

All I can figure is…somebody spiked the Perrier.

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