O'Connor: The Senior Conservative
by Dick O'Connor
January 17, 2002
The Liberal Lifeguard is at it Again
Once again the Senior Lifeguard at the Chappaquitic (Mass) Municipal Pool is stepping forward to save America for Truth, Justice, and the American Way. Senator Edward Kennedy, mild mannered Washington Liberal Congressman, is even now changing his clothes in a shipping container (telephone booths are no longer large enough!) and is ready to do battle with the forces of E-vil (that's' us). He will emerge from the shipping container in his red and blue leotards, his flowing red cape and water wings as Super Liberal and will defend us from our own frailties. He knows that Washington can spend our own money much better (and faster) than we can.
This selfless Super Liberal Hero only wants to help us by increasing the power and largesse of the government to guide and care for us. He only wants to make us even more dependent on Washington. Then we can vote Democratic and hold back the E-vil tax cut advanced by the E-vil Republicans and save the nation for the Liberal/Socialist programs of the Democrats. It is indeed a worthy cause and will bring us to Utopia! Excelsior! Onward and upward!
Never mind the poor fool who is paying for it. The Liberal/Socialist agenda is at least trying to make the world a better place and they are to be forgiven if some of their illogical schemes blow up in their faces. Senator Kennedy needs the money that the Bush tax cut will leave in the hands of ignorant, free-spending hicks.
So watch for the Senior Lifeguard (with his water wings) when he comes your way. Help him reach into the pockets of those poor hicks who may waste the money on things that they want. This sort of selfishness (consumer spending) must be controlled or we might be allowed to flourish! Heaven forbid! Flourish without the hand of Liberals to guide us? We can't let that happen!
Permission granted to publish or broadcast this column in whole or part with attribution to WebToday.
©2002 WebToday
4.9¢ long distance from WebToday: Online sign-up takes about two or three minutes